Monday, September 25, 2006

It's Taper Time!

My marathon is in 20 days, people. Less than three measley weeks! For whatever reason I woke up NERVOUS (yes, with a capital n and all the other letters too.) Why? Who cares? It's just a stinking road race. I will be one of millions this fall crossing it off my lifetime to do list. Why does this make me nervous? I think it's just a little performance anxiety. Also, I am afraid of being disappointed. So far, in every race I have run this year I have exceeded my own expectations. For most of them, I have far exceeded my expectations. It feels good to wow yourself, but now that I have a bit my expectations are higher than they were. I first thought of running a marathon in under 4 hours as a lofty goal and now I feel like I'll be disappointed if I don't break 3:30. I have this silly number mental block. 3:30:00 is slow, but a 3:29:59 is ok. 8:00 minutes per mile is slow, but I'll be satisfied with 7:59's.

I suppose this is something that everyone goes through with marathon training and with anything that they have rehearsed for. It's like my own personal stage show, my superbowl, or my own olympic ice skating debut. I want my own standing ovation, my own mvp ring, my own successful triple axel (and some teddy bears and roses thrown at me when I'm done for good measure). What if I forget my lines, or fumble, or fall on my ass in front of the entire world? I worked this hard to...have a collision with some ice?

I know, I know. I just need to trust myself, my training, my work, the world, et al. Quit what-iffing and just get out there and run those goddammed 7:59 splits and ignore the side-stitch, the puking, the aching butt muscle, the pee (or worse) dripping down my leg. And hey, if I experience a marathon calamity I can be psyched that I can be my own personal Kerry Strug!

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