Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Welcome to Relative Land

I am going to San Francisco on Saturday to see *B* who I haven't seen since the naked hot springs adventure circa May 2004. I'd like to leave this fluorecent haze and go home to plan my trip and get my cats all settled in for the week and not have to be here editing another document. I still have a mild case of lead-head from training all summer, eating too many carbs last week, and oh yeah running that marathon too.

It's also mrpy mcmrperstein's birthday next week and I have to hatch some sort of plan to make it special for him. I think what he really wants is for my cats to lose all their hair, claws, need to poo, and inclination to jump on stuff and run around. He'd also like for the health care system to be fixed, a 32 foot ladder, and maybe a girlfriend who instinctively turned lights off when not in use, never desired to turn the heat on, and never used the green side of the sponge on scratchable stuff. Sometimes I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things perfect for him. I'd like to reverse all my cats' and my lack of training. I'd like to get lots of money to get him everything he could ever want. I'd like to be able to come up with ways to feed him vegetables so that he would actually enjoy eating them. Buying him a nice but utilitarian present and putting a candle in a cupcake just won't even be a drop in the appreciation demonstration bucket, I'm afraid.

In other news, so far I've managed not to come down with the post-marathon blues. I have noticed that my thoughts about the marathon have become increasingly nit-picky. Why didn't I pick it up more for the last two miles? Why did I let transparent shorts guy get under my skin and waste my energy back at mile 6? Why did I let my pace slack in the middle? Why did I settle for 3:25:31 when I could have come in under 3:25 with just a little more effort? I think at one point in my life 3:25 seemed like an awesome time but now that I've done it it doesn't seem that great. I noticed these thoughts after my other races too. Back in July I ran a 5 miler in a sub 7min/mile pace and I was elated when I was done and so proud of myself but as time wore on I realized that the time really wasn't all that. I mean in some ways I know all my running achievements are actually achievements and great for me. I worked hard and I have improved tremendously. In the grand scheme of things I'm a pretty fast 31 year old lady. Ah, you know. This also happened in law school. Once I got into the top 10 percent of the class I then focused on being at the bottom of the top ten percent. I went from being stoked after getting an A- to being sorely disappointed by it. Yes, I'm camping out in relative land again.

PS The picture is from the marathon. Doesn't it look like to two ladies in the background are my Pips? We all look like we're doing some hokey tapdance rather than running.

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