Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A Star for All Seasons

Lately, I have been wondering how I lost my passion for law. I used to be so interested in it and have so many ideas and questions and just energy to dive into it. However, over the last year or so my interest is just waning. In it's place, my brain is devoted to all things mrp, all things running, and even my cats seem more important to me lately. Part of it is that my job is often boring. But even the parts I supposedly love haven't been getting me off so to speak. I just feel kind of ho hum about the whole thing. On Monday night I went to a seminar at my former law school. I ran into my tax professor there who I just adored as a student. We had a great time catching up and he introduced me to the speaker and we had a nice chat. It made me feel, for a moment anyway, that passion again. I at once wanted to run home and research for a new paper. I would so love to throw myself into a new paper--in theory. However, I am just not excited enough about it right now. It's not something I want to force. It will come when it comes. Part of it is that I have spent almost 10 years devoting my life to developing a career. I put almost all of myself into that. I ignored my physical needs and my relationship needs and threw it all into getting to where I am today. Maybe it's not such a bad thing to coast for a little while while I balance my life back out.
See, this leads back to a couple of posts ago--we can't pursuit every goal we have at once. There are only so many resources for these things to go around.

Everytime, though, I think back to Monday night I can see these possibilities to maybe make into academia afterall. I was a bit of a star that night--it made me feel like I need to get back there someday. In the meantime, I'll do my best at my job and do some relative coasting while I devote some resources to other pursuits to get myself into a happy balance. Just because it's not today's top priority does not mean it's not in the queue.

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