Thursday, March 01, 2007

Not as Lonely Feeling as I Sound

I wish I felt better on my trip. I did have a nice time with my sister, but it would have been nice to not have to go to sleep by 10 each night and to feel well enough to have more than one stinking rum punch during my whole visit. I didn't even feel up to taking the ferry over to the drydock. I know, I MUST have not been feeling well. I miss my sister and I wish she lived here. It would be nice to go shopping together and to meet on Saturday morning for breakfast and to watch stupid tv together regularly. There are very few people in my life that get me and who I feel really truly comfortable being me around and who I feel at home with, you know? I'm sure it has something to do with the lack of stability I had during my childhood or some shit like that but it is really hard for me to relax and feel comfortable and taken care of and safe around other people. I trust very few people to have my best interests in mind and who will protect me and not judge me. Unfortunately, the only one of these people that lives near me is mrp. Sometimes I feel this way about my mom, but not recently. I feel that my grandparents have my best interests in mind but they can be judgmental. Anyway, the point is that I feel this way about my sister too. She is a little scatterbrained (like someone around here we all know--and love!) but she will be there for me if I need her. She so kindly slept on the lumpy couch so I could have her bed when I was sick. And she put up with tired hungry uncomfortable me wandering the French Quarter looking for the perfect restaurant. And she let me whine about my race and listened to me with an open mind as I grilled her about her plans for her future. I wish she lived here but I understand that here doesn't offer her much. (She needs to go to NYC or LA! Go on, girl. Get on with it and make those dreams come true while you can!!! ) But she can visit! Hint.

In running news I ran with some people from work yesterday for part of my run. It's not noteworthy except for the fact that for some reason people think I'm this blazing fast runner and were afraid to run with me. I explained that I don't run fast most days--which is true! But no one believed me. I think people don't understand running very well. They think it's normal to run as hard as you possibly can every day. I kind of used to do that when I started running. I knew better to some extent. I would say I ran faster than I should have most days. Now, most days I run between 8:00-9:00/mile. It is also interesting that last Thursday in the throws of my illness I mustered a whopping 9:06 pace on the treadmill and was sweating like a pig. Mrp said her overheard the guy running next to me tell someone else that I was "blazing" or something. Hah! Maybe I have a knack for making slow running look a lot harder than it is! So back to yesterday, as I was running with these people they kept asking me how much slower I was going by running with them, when in fact, I was probably running a little faster than I normally would have if I was by myself. Maybe they just didn't want to run with me because I'm a dork in the school cafeteria and they don't want to be seen with me, I don't know. Anyway, as I crossed over the bridge to finish the run alone, I felt, well, kind of lonely.

Today was better. I wanted to run alone in the rain so I suited up in my shorts, rain jacket, and cap and headed outside. I made it one whole mile before saying screw it and returning back to the gym. It was 39 degrees and pouring rain and windy as all hell. This was the first time in my running career when I was worried about frostbite! My legs were fluorescent red and burning cold by the time I got back from the 2 miles. I sheepishly got on the treadmill and finished up with another 4 to make 6. I am scheduled for 10-12 today so I have to go back down and log another 4-6 on the woodway before calling it a day. It will be my first real double, not counting the 4 mile shakeouts I did after my long runs over the summer. I am feeling really good and recovered from Sunday and I'm actually looking forward to a few more miles tonight before heading home for my mrpy cuddles! (Is that TMI? Sorry!)

No comments: