Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Diary of a Disappointed Runner

6:30 AM

November is too soon and too busy to run another marathon. I don't think December is good either because it would be to close too xc nats. January or February. Arizona or Texas. Hmmm.

7:50 AM

Right now I want to cry thinking about missing out on running those last few miles. I apologize for this melodrama, but I feel like I'm mourning the race that could have been (gag--I told you). But just like when your dog dies, going out and getting a new one the next day isn't probably a wise move. Part of me wants to pick it up and get right back to it and run another marathon as soon as I can, but part of me (yeah, probably the rational sane part) says no. no. no. I know I need time to sort it out. I need to jump back into the rest of my life and immerse myself in all the other things that make me happy. This is the down side for being a hyper-focused goal driven person. It's hard to ever feel satisfied.

9:00 AM

I really would like to run another marathon in the coming months if it made any sense. I can kind of wrap my head around a late February race. I would certainly have to travel (I'm not running a 26 one mile loop course in Ohio in February!) And January is typically pretty demanding at work, so I'm not sure heavy training is even possible. Mrp wants to run Boston again. So it would kind of make sense to do Boston again. I am really nervous about committing to another winter of training--the weather can just be brutal here. And the dark. Can I stomach 20 mile wave workouts on a treadmill? Also, I want to support mrp in his quest to do something with the marathon. For the past year we have focused on my marathoning. I'm not sure we have the ability to focus on both of us striving to run our best at the same time. I know I'm not supposed to be thinking about this, but I can't help it! Oh, and I'm still sorry for the earlier melodrama!

10:14 AM

Hey look! I might have actually smiled in a race photo!



11:24 AM

Running shmunning. Mrp and I are getting married in 18 days! My goodness. I can't believe how sometimes I can lose sight of how great things are just because one thing didn't go perfectly. At the same time, I know I feel very disappointed and that's ok too. I just need to vent my disappointment and then I'll be better able to move on. So, yeah I'm disappointed about the marathon, but you know? I am so happy about everything else right now. So there.

2:30 PM

I went down to the gym during lunch and hopped on the eliptical for 1/2 an hour. I got my heart rate all the way up to 130 and I even sweated! My legs feel great. The only thing that is sore still is my left hip and of course my side is still annoying too, although less so today. But it felt great to release some endorphins and just move around a bit. Maybe I'll do a short run tomorrow. I think I know I can't run another marathon until next year even if wanted to so I'm going to try not to think about it for a while and defer making any decisions for at least 2 weeks.

3:48 PM

Once in a while when I'm bored at work I'll just check letsrun for a good laugh or an occasional tip. Today I found this: http://www.theroadtobeijing.co.uk/roadtobeijing.htm Just check out the results. Wow! His Paris marathon report made me feel better. I better get some work done today!

4:36 PM

Holy crap! I smiled in TWO pictures!



4:41 PM

You know, I had fun and I did the best I could. It was a good race. I'll be fine. See, I even felt that way on Sunday.


Thanks everyone for all your support and advice!

12 comments:

Joseph P. Wood said...

Salty,

There's always some "Southern Marathons" in February: Mercedes right here in Bham, AL. The course is a *bitch* but you and mrp can meet the fam and eat barbecue until your guts bust. But good call on Nov. and Dec.--that's too close to Columbus to put down a good time--you need some recovery:)

E-Speed said...

If you do decide to do Boston you will have training partners to get you through the winter! Daisy and I are totally going to be there with ya!

You deserve a good marathon, you worked hard for it and you have every right to be dissapointed. But you should be very proud of what you were able to accomplish when you weren't even feeling that great!

joe positive said...

Here in Tampa we have the Publix (formerly Gasparilla, formerly Bank of America, formerly Hops, formerly Gasparilla again I think) marathon Feb 10. Despite the changing sponsorship, it's a nice race. It's flat and fast, and the weather's usually pretty nice for marathoning. The marathon is part of a weekend race extravaganza that includes a 15K and 5K Saturday, and a marathon and half Sunday. So there might be a race for your husband as well, if he doesn't want to run a marathon.

Joseph P. Wood said...

The marathon is part of a weekend race extravaganza that includes a 15K and 5K Saturday, and a marathon and half Sunday. So there might be a race for your husband as well, if he doesn't want to run a marathon.

I've been wanting to do that 15k for a few years. If I can get myself healthy enough by then, I might actually do it...

joe positive said...

I've been wanting to do that 15k for a few years. If I can get myself healthy enough by then, I might actually do it...

If you do, I'll buy you a beer. That goes for you too, Salty One.

The Salty One said...

Beers with Joplus and Tusca. Hmm. I could do Tampa.

Joseph P. Wood said...

Beers with Joplus and Tusca. Hmm. I could do Tampa.

There's a meeting of the minds if I ever heard of one...

kenyarunb said...

I think we could have written the same diary! But your marathon was AWESOME and your preparation was unbelievable . . . forget 3:03 - you ARE BREAKING 3 the next time you toe the line :)

You can easily carry over this fitness into a winter or spring marathon . . . once you rest and then rebound you will be stronger and more motivated than ever to race.

I think I am running Clubs too so maybe we will see each other there!!

(this is Bridget from www.running-blogs.com)

Joseph P. Wood said...

Hey, one thing that's getting lost in the shuffle: this post is REALLY neat. It's so interesting to watch how a runner's mind progresses through the day; love the additions to the post as the day progresses...

Lloyd said...

I feel your frustration. I wish the marathon were such that you could retry again this week. Or next. It just isn't so.

This disappointment will fuel your desire. The day you get your chance will be a tremendous breakthough run. No doubt.

Personally I hope you run Boston -- you could pull me along to a PR!

Uptown Girl said...

Catching up a little late...
Anyway, your thoughts are oh so familiar. I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that has internal monologue about this:) Disappointment stinks but that's all it is...for tomorrow...a whole new day, a whole new outlook!

Chelle said...

Don't torture yourself too much over this race....those damn coulda/woulda beens! I think you're right on pace in your development. When would you have been targeting your next marathon if you HAD run 3:03?

It often takes longer to get where you want than you'd like. I ran my 3:09 in 2002 at age 30 and my 3:02 in 2005 at age 33. Both times I was convinced I was ready to break 3. It took another year and a half after that, so maybe the body just needs some time to get there. And I think we women get tougher as we get older too!

The roadtobeijing blog is neat. Makes me a little wistful about giving up on that goal after I got hurt this spring.

- chelle