Thursday, November 29, 2007

More than a Feeling

My running blah is not just a running blah, I've decided. Actually, it's more the effect of a seismic shift going on in my life. I am coming out of crazy hyper-focused marathon training automaton mode and into happy newlywed lady with a professional job and a running hobby mode. One of the things that I adore about running is that it provides me something to dive into and swim around in almost to the exclusion of everything else. I can fully immerse myself in it day after day after day. I can run a lot, and stretch a lot, and strengthen a lot, and read about running a lot, and think about running a lot, and talk about running a lot. That's not to say that an escape is what I was after with running, but rather what attracted me to it was that it was something I could do intensely. And with intensity comes that focus that excludes everything else.

While this is all great for a while, it is absolutely unsustainable over the long term for someone like me (i.e. a mediocre hobby runner with a full time job, a great husband to hang out with, and interests in other stuff too). But I struggle with balance. Truly I do. As much as I know this is where it's at in life, I have a hard time. My tendency toward intensity often causes me to get out of balance and throw all my eggs into one of my many baskets.

In the past when this has happened to me I knee-jerked and dumped all the eggs out of the heavy basket and quit whatever it was that was sucking up all my time and energy in a burned out fury (i.e.#2 "I will NEVER get another degree--I am DONE with school forever!!!!") But this time, my hope is to keep some eggs in the running basket as I replenish the other baskets too. I need to remember that I don't have to be an automoton to be a runner. I can be the happy newlywed lady with a professional job and a running hobby and I can even be a half-way decent hobby runner too.

6 comments:

Quinto Sol said...

Salty -You are a darn GOOD runner; I wish I had some of your talent and dedication. And I am sure you are a pretty good lawyer too...

AddictedToEndorphins said...

So you mean to say as long as I'm in school it's gonna suck up the rest of my life?!??!
Fantastic.

Enjoy the running as a hobby for now and see where it goes!

Enjoy it.

Mindi said...

From one type-A to another: You are speaking to the choir, girl. But I definitely agree on your assessment not to quit it. Just re-evaluate it. Sometimes running may be your big focus. Other times it will not. You just got married after months of excitement (more intense than planning for that sub-3 I would guess). Let yourself unravel, then find your new goals - whatever they are. Maybe they will be running related, maybe they will not. But they aren't mutally exclusive, and putting one thing on hold or onto the back burner doesn't shut out another forever......You are a kick @ss runner and you are no where near your potential. I agree that you are probably the same in your professional and personal life. That is actually the beauty of it all. Just try to balance them all and stike each when it seems right. You have intelligence, talent and an amazing support system. There is nothing more you can ask for. Life it too short to worry about timing and half-heartedness.

GP said...

Well, I'm not Type-A, but I've alternated egg-basket-filling/egg-basket-dumping my whole life. While some things were dumped and left by the side of the road for good, some things came back. And some were super-sustainable (yoga, cooking) and others not so much (obsessing over ninjas). But the balance of fun, health and challenge always keeps me going. Although I think I have at least 1-2 more degrees before I stop. I need a fun collection...

The Salty One said...

ATE--go hit those books and quit reading blogs ;)

QS--I hope I'm a pretty good lawyer! With all that obsessing about running I might have gotten a bit soft in the department. One of the things I want to spend some of my old running energy to redevelop!

Mindi--yeah, this is just an opportunity for me to develop a skill that I've never had much of: doing something I like to do but not immersing myself in it. Letting go might be another way to put it.

G--obsessing over ninjas? Heh. Won't ask.

Joseph P. Wood said...

You know I'm going through the same thing right now, but something interesting is happening: I'm managing to have keep a number of balls in a number of courts (bad idiom, sorry). In doing so, I'm finding equilibrium and, god forbid, a quieter happiness--as opposed to the druggy-like effect of obsession. While I might not be getting five poems a day done, the one or two poems I do in a week are pretty freaking good...same applies to running IMHO.

In other words, quantity does not equal quality. Eggs in many baskets, I posit, will not be a detrement to your running; it will be a benefit in the long run.