Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Habeas Corpus

It's been a long time that my body's been on loan. I love my little peanut ferociously, but that doesn't mean I am always feeling content with this body sharing situation. Like last night when I woke up to pee and was then kept awake because peanut decided to throw a party inside of me for an hour and a half. Of course, I was awake laughing because it felt so deliciously fun, but in the back of my mind I knew I'd be dragging today. And I am.

I have to pat myself on the back a bit. I was so willing to make this sacrifice for peanut, even before he was conceived. I voluntarily cut my running way back, gained the weight, slowed way down, and slept my free time away. I will continue to do all these things and gladly. But sometime last week, probably at the race, I really started to miss the good old days when I got to line up in front and push my body hard.

Today at lunch I went out with my buddies. We ran up from my office (they are so sweet they come and pick me up!) and to the track. D and I were there to keep E company while she did an 800 meter time trial. I ran the opposite direction in the outside pokey lane and watched as the two of them did 200 meter strides in the warm-up. And then I positioned myself at the start/finish to time. E went flying out the gate and looked great. She hauled ass to make the first quarter a hair under 80 and then D joined in to help with the 2nd quarter. She didn't slow down much, coming in to the finish with a 2:41. As I took the splits I felt knots in my stomach. I pictured running that myself. I couldn't fathom it. I questioned if it would ever happen again.

We ran our cool down back to my office (I get drop off service too!) We passed by dark store windows and I saw the lithe bodies of D and then E and then the not so lithe body of me. Twenty-five pounds isn't all belly, despite what the very kind people like to tell me. I know peanut needs it and I need it to weather the near future, but still there is a part of me that hurts and longs for the good old days.


TriSaraTops said...

Oh, man, do I sympathize with you...I remember those days. Except throw another 30 pounds on me. ;) And, um, I'm not quite as fast as you to begin with.

But in all seriousness, you will get there again--and probably be faster. I like to call it the pregnancy blood-doping. It was sooooooo hard for me to accept what was happening to my body last summer and I pretty much fought it for 9 months. The next time around, God willing, I'm going to be a lot more chill and try to enjoy it, because the roads and the races aren't going anywhere, you know?

Hang in there--you'll be flying by a bunch of guys in a race as you push a jogging stroller before you know it. :)

Meghan said...

Aw Salty, sorry you're not feelin' your juju at the moment.

Yes, you'll get it all back! You will be fast as hell in a matter of months. And, the weight will come flying off of you, from wherever you say it is on your body.

See you in a few days!

E-Speed said...

Girl you will be kicking my ass up and down the track within a year of having that baby (thats my prediction anyways!) Thanks for timing me. It's nice to have friends who understand what you are laying on the line when you go out to push yourself, and it really means a lot to me that you and D were there to help me push hard.

P.S. you are the best looking pregnant gal I know!

TrainingtoTri said...

Sending you a hug and I promise you really do look great!

Mindi said...

Enjoy this time. It is your free ticket to be a slacker. Before you know it, you will be lining up in front, kicking your own ass, and looking fondly back to your more chill spectator days with peanut. :)

Seriously, I know it is hard, but hang in there. You will be faster than ever next year! I like the "pregnancy blood-doping" thing!

DaisyDuc said...

Yeah your post pregnancy butt will be back in no time making me miss your pregnancy days of easy running!

You are still out there lookiing darn cute as you run with your lil bump still running faster than some could hope for!

solarsquirrel said...

You are freakin' incredible - of COURSE you will be back at it, girl! Look at these hard-core ladies that are running ultras and beating half of the guys - they all have kids, too ya know!
It was good seeing you yesterday, even if it was only for a few min since we were both busy w/ aid station duties.