Friday, May 29, 2009

The Path Runs Through It

Peanut and I found the best local place to take the BOB. It's a rails to trails project just a few short miles from my mom's house out in the sub-country. That means the path is smooth and it's pretty much flat flat flat! Perfect pushing the BOB!

The first day we hit it up was lovely. We rolled along through the tree-lined path. And about a mile in I saw it. It was a sign informing us we entered the township, the township where my dad chose to die. Now I know that sounds morbid and initially I had that gulp this sucks kind of feeling, but it didn't last long. I noticed the sunshine and the lush green of the leaves surrounding us and I felt like we had company along our way. It was a warm and happy feeling, like a blanket over the sad. When I run on that path it's like running into the mush of my feelings about my dad. I pass by that sign and into myself. How will I talk about this with peanut? Why here? What am I missing? Look how far I've come. How much farther do I have to go?

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And it's funny I should mention that path. Through a convoluted story of finding a babysitter to get in my long run last weekend I ended up meeting E at the path on Saturday afternoon. I didn't think anything of meeting at 12:30 on an 80+ degree very sunny and humid day to run 13 miles on a not too shaded yet path. That was dumb. By 5 miles I started to feel what kind of felt like hunger. By 6 miles I felt shaky. By 7 I needed a break. By 8 I had chills. By 9 I thought I might vomit or worse. By 10 I was worried I needed to be carried back. By 11 I made E finish without me. I stood there all alone under the intense midday sun watching the figure of E shrink as she ran her low-8's back to our starting point. As I scanned my brain trying to make sense out of what was happening to my body and as I was tempted to beat myself up for being a wuss, I felt that blanket over me and I made it back just fine. I was a little shaken up, but confident it was just a case of dehydration and heat stress on my hard-training and breast-feeding body. Oh, and thrilled to see E driving back to the parking lot carrying a cold 32 oz Gatorade! What a good friend!!!

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And it's funny I should mention that run. It capped off my best 7 days of training in a long long time. On Sunday I ran 18 with the 10k race. On Tuesday I did 5 tempo miles on a very hilly course. On Thursday I did 10 including a great track workout (5 x 1000 in 3:56, 3:59, 3:56, 3:54, 3:54 + 4 x 200 all in 39). I ran 69 miles in that 7 day stretch! After my disastrous long run I bagged the easy 8 I had planned and took the day off. On Monday I was worried I would still feel bad, but I actually felt fine and enjoyed a comfortable hilly 9 on the trails. Tuesday I did my final track workout before my half this Sunday. I ran 10 miles including 2 at tempo (6:41 and 6:40) and then did 6 x 400 (90, 89, 90, 91, 89, 88). And from there it's all downhill to the starting line! I am really excited about the half. It's a culmination of 24 weeks of running post-peanut. I am really open-minded about time goals. I just want to get back out there and race. It should be fun!

2 comments:

Mnowac said...

It's funny you wrote this today, as I had a funk about my dad today too...i was listening to a CD that happened to have a song on it that was part of the memorial slideshow from his funeral and it made me quite blue. Sending you a hug!

DC Running Mama said...

I am sorry to hear about your dad...having not read all your prior blog posts. I do think that people who have had dark things happen to them in their life can be more appreciative of the good things in life and are often stronger than they imagine. I really believe that we can sense spirits...despite being an atheist. Kudos for you for getting past this dark time in your life and creating such an amazing life!