Sunday, January 03, 2010

Switch

Yesterday I put on my winter uniform: some tights, a long sleeve tech shirt with a long sleeve race t-shirt on top, my blue hat, mittens and of course shoes and socks. It didn't take me long to figure out I really should have taken that extra minute to check the weather. Holy crap! It was cold! Apparently, a long sleeve t-shirt doesn't cut it when it's 14 degrees and windy. For the first mile and a half I was straight into the wind and I thought my neck would disintegrate and holding up my cotton t-shirt over it did nothing to help. Once I turned out of the wind I was actually ok and I ran out a little over three miles doing some extra loops on some side streets to extend my 5-miler to 6. But once I turned back to come home, POW! There was that wind again. UGH! A little over a mile and I was out of it again, thankfully.

The first rule of winter running is DRESS APPROPRIATELY! Duh.

But I made it out for 6 miles and I actually ran at a non-embarrassing pace. I was under 9:00 pace for the second half of the run. That's very good for me especially with the wind and snowy streets.

When I contemplating my second pregnancy way back when I always thought I'd be less cautious than I was with peanut and run to my heart's content. In many ways I am less cautious this time: I have no problem running on the roads, even covered in snow; I have no problem pushing the pace every now and then; and I completely trust my body to tell me what's ok and what's not--no second-guessing this time.

As for mileage, little did I know that for the first few weeks my heart (and stomach and whatever it is that controls the imminent need to SLEEP) could barely get me out the door for 20 miles a week. It was a struggle to get that in. For the last month or so I've felt quite a bit better and ready to roll, but now life is getting in the way. Peanut's sleep troubles, my work, the holidays and lots of other stuff seem to keep me from getting out there and running to my heart's content. Now when I head out I am good for an hour and sometimes more (although my bladder doesn't have quite the same patience!) I feel good and happy out on the snowy roads and it's not pulling teeth just to log a measly 4 miles. When I was feeling really awful during the first trimester, I set the minimum standard to be 4 miles, 5 days a week or 20 miles. Last week I ran 30 miles in 5 days and felt great and unrushed. This week, I hope to run at least 4 today so I can log at least 20 in 4 days.

I don't know. Last time I was pregnant the severe drop off in mileage hardly bothered me. This time it does quite a bit more so. Maybe it's because life is getting in the way this time. Maybe it's because I was in the middle of my first post-pregnancy comeback when I got pregnant this time: a break in momentum. I don't know.

I think a lot of it is the frustration that comes with not being able to do everything I want to do. Last time I was pregnant, my life was pretty settled and the only big thing going on was being pregnant. This time, I've got a kid, a brand new teaching job (which I am so nervous about--January 12 is my first day!), a very part-time contracting job, a messy house I'm in almost 24/7, friends I haven't seen in weeks and lots and lots of sleep that must be had. I can't do everything at 100% these days. I can be a 100% good mother and beyond that everything else just needs to get what I have to give. And for the most part I find satisfaction in that decision. But that overachiever part likes to focus on what I can't do or am not doing. I wish that came with an off switch!

So for this brand new year I hope for lots of things--a healthy pregnancy and baby, a healthy and happy family, a vibrant relationship with mrp, a beautiful and striving peanut--but, most notably I hope to find more self acceptance, inner peace and allow myself more contentedness.

5 comments:

Trisaratops said...

Totally with ya, Salty. I don't think I had any idea how different--and in some ways, easier but others much more difficult--this second pregnancy would be. On one hand, I am trusting my body much more and I know my abilities and all the races will be there when I'm done. On the other hand, being pregnant while working and taking care of a 2 year old has been absolutely exhausting--WAY more than the first time around. I find that it is hard for me to let some things go, too. But I'm getting there.

Best of luck finding your balance--and congrats on the new job, too!

Mnowac said...

Its hard to fit it all in when you have to put the Nut first. I wanted to go to the gym this week and couldn't b/c Harper was sick, it sucked. But you have to cut yourself some slack for sure. Good luck with your teaching gig!

allanjel said...

You may not run the mileage or the pace you want because "life" is getting in the way, but the running you are doing, is helping keep your baby healthy, relieving some of your stress, keeping your life balanced and that crazy overachiever from going totally USATF on your behind :)

DC Running Mama said...

I found that I couldn't run much my first trimester b/c I was so tired and who has time to run such freaking slow miles? I think that we (all us new moms) are at the beginning of the stage in our lives where we have to learn that we can't do everything and that the goal in life is not balance, but presence in the moment that we are in. I think the hardest thing that I'll face in the future is not being able to run as much as I would like because there JUST ISN'T TIME. You have a lot of balls in the air!

CoyoteGirl said...

With the second one you're less nervous, the pregnancy flies by. But taking care of nut #1 and work and house and THEN nut #2 when he/she comes. It does get overwhelming. I can remember sitting on my kitchen floor and crying 2 weeks after #2 was born out of frustration. Somehow I survived though....It'll be okay. Just don't expect everything to go to plan. Flexibility is the key.