Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Not Everyone's a Critic Like Me

I love to argue. That's why I became a lawyer. I love a healthy debate. I love trying on other people's viewpoints and arguing the other side. I am mostly politically liberal, but I love listening to Rush Limbaugh. This quality is one reason I like to blog. I like to put something out there and see what others have to say and I like to read what others have to say and then throw in my own two cents and see where the conversation goes.

You can ask mrp, or my sister, or my friends. That's just me and usually it works for me. They will all also tell you that this trait sometimes gets me into trouble. I often get a little too comfortably doling out my opinion and sometimes I come off as a preachy know-it-all or worse, a complete and total jerk. I really want to understand other people and I really try to relate, especially to people I seemingly shouldn't be able to relate to. I am very curious and like I said, I think sharing viewpoints and even arguing is fun. Apparently, this is weird :) Luckily, mrp thinks it's cute.

I like arguing and being curious, but I don't like over-stepping and I don't like it when I sometimes take on a role in my relationships where I am always the critic. I've particularly noticed this when I'm concerned about the other person or emotionally invested. This has happened a lot in my relationship with my sister. I've had to work hard in my relationship with my sister to offer my viewpoint so as not to be judgmental, but rather provide an opening for dialogue. It's happened from time-to-time with friends too. It's something I would like to be better about. I think I can be curious and share my viewpoint without being argumentative or preachy.

I promised I'd get back to talking about running. This trait is one reason I love running. There are so many theories about optimal training it's fun to debate them, especially because I am relatively new to the world of running. Arguing, besides being fun for me, also helps me learn about something and process how I truly feel about something or what the truth about something is to me. Debating training strategies with friends in real life and on the blog has helped me learn a lot about the topic!

Anyway, I just was thinking about this after I felt like I might be stepping into that too-critical role with a friend and I wanted to sort it out a little and also share this tidbit about myself in case you ever find yourself wondering why I'm such a contrarian.


meg said...

i usually appreciate your take and have known you long enough (even if not for a consistent time-line) to know that you are well-intentioned and certainly you are coming from a very caring and supportive place when it comes to personal advice...as for politics, that is a whole other passion. ;-)

kyle the girl said...

Eh, I do it too, so I get it. I never thought of you as judgmental of me, I just figured you were pushing me to be better. And hey, it worked!

Mnowac said...

That quality is what makes you your wonderful you. I am the same way, not b/c I like to debate, but b/c I like to talk. I know I talk too much, especially with a few beers in me, I am trying so hard to curb it back and not dominate conversations, but its so hard!