Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Racing with the Heart

I've been thinking more about myself as a trainer versus myself as a racer. To me, there is something beautiful about putting up a solidly consistent training cycle. I like to look back at my log and see workout after workout achieved. I think I'm realizing that at least until now I have enjoyed that training process way more than racing.

It's so easy to get lost on the path, to revel in each everyday accomplishment.

"Woot! I just ran six 800's at THAT pace!"

"What a blazing tempo!"

"I finished my long run how fast?!"

But when it comes time to race I don't get that sense of self-satisfaction. I feel like the world is watching me and no matter what I do I feel like it should have been better. I feel judged. It's weird, because who the heck cares what I do?! Yet, I don't carry that joy of accomplishment to the race course. I focus on the external stuff and not what I enjoy.

The fact is, if I didn't like running hard and fast I wouldn't be doing this. I love it, in fact. I love whipping around the track. I love those tingly post-workout legs. I love the logs they become after taking a post-workout nap. I love the high after effortlessly exceeding my workout goals. It's time I brought this joy on the race course.

So on Saturday I am not racing to prove how fast I am to anyone else. My goal for the 10 mile race is to run fast because I love to run my heart out.

1 comment:

E-Speed said...

Go get em girl! Just listen to your body and fly through the course! You are ready.